I'm Jenny, wife to my rocker, lawyer husband, Jared, and mother to the wonderful Evy, Mr. E, Si-Guy, Tuck and Mac. I parent deliberately, read vehemently, craft incessantly and enjoy every minute of it. Yes, I've got my hands full, full of happiness.
C (Explaining to Eli and Si school fire drills): You have to go outside, and you can't talk, because, if you open your mouth, you will get fire in it.
Silas (at the Costco fountain pop machines): I want BEER!!!
Me (while dousing the hot dogs in ketchup): What? Did you say you wanted beer?
Me: It's called ROOT beer, Silas. We don't drink beer. (Loud enough for all to be assured that my 4 year old doesn't drink beer.)
Silas: I call it BEER!
Silas: Mum, you got borned some really awesome kids!
Jared: Silas, come here. Silas: Me no Silas, me Si-la-guy!
Silas (pointing to bone on the side of his ankle): Mommy, rock. in. my. foot. Me: It's not a rock, it's a bone. Silas (incredible distressed): Oh no! Mommy, BONE in my foot!
Silas (when the sun went behind a cloud and the room got darker): Mommy, dark? Me: Ya, the sun just went behind a cloud. Silas, very sad: Mommy, me miss da sun.
Silas (At 1:30 in the morning after he has been sleeping terrible due to a stuffed nose): Uh oh Me: What, is your nose broken? Silas: Yup, two them broken.
Me (at dinner time): Eli, have you been wearing your t-shirt on backwards all day. Eli (without skipping a beat): No, but I've been wearing my underpants on backwards all day.
Eli (the first time he sat in his brand new, ridiculously expensive but totally safe car seat): It's like way comfortabler. It's like a pile of clouds I'm sitting on.
Eli: I know why the world turns. It's because the sun is so hot, and the world is a guy, and it doesn't like being so hot, so it turns around all the time to cool off.
Eli: You know that stuff in your eye? It's Jell-o, and it can see stuff. I know, because I touched it.
Eli: There's a skeleton inside my body that talks to me and tells me all the things that are good.
Me: Eli, pull up your underpants, it's not polite to walk around with a bare bum. Eli: I don't have a bare bum, mum. Me: What exactly would you call it? Eli: A person bum.
Eli: Mum, will you button my pants and pull up my...um... bug?
Eli: Silas is such a little "Duke-ter." Me: What's a Duke-ter, Eli. Eli: Someone who eats all the 'Mo' so I can't have any.
Eli: Why is there toilet paper all over the yard. Me: 'Cause dumb teenagers didn't bother to find out if Auntie Phoebe was home or not, and now we have to clean it up. Eli: Grandma's going to be really mad. Let's eat them alive: crush their bones and drink their blood. (I promise, I don't know where he got that one.)
Eli (when I was wearing a dress that kind of makes me look preggers): Mommy, your 'mo' looks ugly when you have sisters in your tummy.
I’ve heard of terrible things happening to some mommas when they are home alone without daddies. You know, the common terrors of stay-at-home moms: bad guys lurking behind couches, scary monsters hiding in the closet, ceaselessly dripping taps and inconsolable babies. Well, I have the fortunate blessing of being protected by my very own Space Ranger. That’s right, I am the grateful recipient of the devotion of Buzz Lightyear - Space Ranger. Some may be surprised to hear this, because you may not have seen him when you are around, but I’ll let you in on a little secret: Buzz moonlights as my eldest son, Eli. But don’t be fooled, when I need him, Buzz is here to laser the bad guys and perform other necessary acts of rescue. His space ranger training is so advanced that sometimes when we are going out of the house for the day he knows his services will be needed and dons his uniform so that he will be ready to ward off the dangers of the world. His presence is so formidable, that I have yet to be bothered by any bad guys while grocery shopping or picking up my dry cleaning. And the best part is, he is willing to be paid in macaroni and repeated viewings of his favourite film, which happens to be Madagascar at the moment. I would offer his services out to other moms in danger, but Buzz has reminded me time and time again that he is my boy and doesn’t want to be anyone else’s boy. So, hopefully other mothers will be blessed with their very own Space Rangers, Batmans, Spider Mans and other good guys, because I assure you, my day is so much better for having Buzz near.